There’s No “I’m Sorry” in Recorder Playing

OK, so according to the Interwebs, the actual quote is “there’s no crying in baseball,” from the 1992 film classic A League of Their Own. But “there’s no ‘I’m sorry’ in recorder playing” is even catchier, right?!

Or at least, as a recorder teacher, I like to think so.

As a new teacher, I was surprised by how many learners have the urge to apologize for their perceived recorder wrongdoings. It turns out to be very common. In many cases, mistakes are quickly followed by expressions of verbal regret, as if the learner has personally injured me (or possibly the entire discipline of music) with their finger slip or chipped note.

But here’s the thing: As a teacher (and a colleague and a player) I’m not particularly interested in mistakes….and I’m even less interested in extracting penance for them.

Sure, I clock mistakes as they go by. Mistakes can provide great information about what’s still a struggle and, if they are repeated, what might have been mis-learned.

But I’m much more interested in the general quality of the playing– does it sound confident or halting? Effortless or labored? Is the tone quality good? Is the articulation serving the line? Are you making music?

When you apologize for your mistakes, you’re giving them enormous power. And unless you plan on auditioning for a major symphony orchestra, your mistakes don’t deserve it.

After all, apologies are for lapses that may have, or definitely have, injured another person. If you accidentally spill water on your shirt, you’re not going to apologize, because an apology is only merited when your failure begets harm. Apologizing for your musical mistakes invests them with an emotional weight that’s a lot to carry.

Apologies and self-flagellation also carry an opportunity cost. If you’re focused on ruing and atoning for what went wrong, you’ve missed the opportunity to analyze what worked in your playing, why something might have worked less well, and how you might improve moving forward.

Mistakes happen.They are annoying! But they are natural parts of the learning process and they are, at heart, morally neutral. Instead of apologizing for them, try noticing and appreciating your mistakes: they’re great data you can use to continue to improve.

To mangle one more quote, recorder playing, like love, means never having to say you’re sorry!

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