Five Lies You Might Be Telling Yourself

You probably already know this, but how we talk to ourselves as musicians and learners– both the content and the tone of that communication– matters! And we don’t always realize when we’re telling ourselves things that, well, just aren’t true!

Unfortunately, these inadvertent falsehoods can have consequences. At best, they’re unhelpful, and at worst, they can limit our desire and ability to grow.

That’s why it can be beneficial to stop every now and then to take inventory. What are you telling yourself about your playing and your musicianship? And is it really accurate?

Here are five of the most common lies I catch recorder students telling themselves. Ask yourself: Do any of them sound familiar? I’m personally guilty of at least two!

I need an expensive instrument to make any more progress

Think of your instrument like a car. Is it super fun to drive a Porsche to the grocery store? Yes! Can you still get there in your Ford Pinto? Yes. Likewise, hopping into the Porsche isn’t going to magically make you a better driver. But driving lessons might! And owning a Porsche might give you fantastic motivation to improve your skills.

There is something wrong with my instrument

OK, full disclosure: Sometimes this is not a lie. Sometimes there is actually something wrong with your instrument. But 95% of the time, the “problem” with your instrument can be recitfied by improving your technique. Are your high notes cracking? Are your low notes not coming out? Is your tuning inconsistent.? Most of the time it’s a safe bet that the culprit is you. Want to know for sure? Hand your instrument to a professional or advanced player and have them try it out.

I can’t get any better than I already am

This is a bald-faced lie I told myself in my early 20s. And I was so, so, so wrong! Unless we are suffering from a degenerative disease process, we can, every single one of us, improve. I am still improving! My colleagues are still improving. Every single one of my students is improving! But improving takes targeted, deliberate work, and you have to be willing to put that work in.

I’m bad at XXX

No, you’re not bad at XXX (insert sight reading, tuning, playing bass, playing by ear, skydiving, etc. etc. etc.). You’re simply not where you want to be at XXX yet. Can you improve at XXX with targeted, deliberate work? Yes. Might your rate or degree of improvement still frustrate you? Yes. But our abilities are never fixed.

No one wants to hear me play

You want to hear you play! In the end, that’s what matters.

And truth be told, there are almost certainly more people in your life who would enjoy hearing you play than you think. I personally love seeing and hearing people make live music, no matter what their level– what a wonderfully human endeavor! It’s a privilege to be able to watch another human being bring music to life. So the idea that no one wants to hear you play is almost certainly false. (The exception is cats. Cats do not want to hear you play. Ever.)